There is no real secret to a perfect marriage. There is even a famous saying where the perfect marriage can only be found between a deaf and a blind couple, because the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife, while the blind wife cannot see the shortcomings of her husband. If marriage could give you a glimpse of heaven, it could give you as much of hell.
Being truly and deeply in love with each other is more than what most people could ask for in a relationship. There are of course those couples who are lucky enough to be soul mates, but even love is not enough to sustain a relationship. There are other factors that come into play.
Why then do people get married? Is it for wealth and security? Is it to have a family? Is it to have someone to grow old with? They all count, but there is a much bigger picture. Marriage is when you give so much of yourself and yet, you feel whole.
Marriage is something special and should be nurtured forever. So what should couples do to keep it? love, trust, respect, patience and compassion, are all important. But even the best marriages can run into trouble. This is because many couples tend to take the simplest things for granted. Knowing some of these proven tips for a happy marriage is a must to survive with the pressures of every day living.
Point 1: Be independent.
It doesn’t mean you must embrace everything about your partner
because you marry. Sometimes, you forget about how different you two are because you’ve been together for so long. Don’t lose your uniqueness because it’s the same thing that attracted both you and your partner in the first place. Try to take on different interests and encourage your partner to do so too.
Point 2: If you have to disagree, do it lovingly.
There will be lots of times when you and your spouse won’t agree at all in some aspects. Don’t make your point sound like a criticism to your partner. It doesn’t matter who is wrong or right. Always bear in mind that an argument doesn’t need a winner or a loser.
Point 3: At least once every day, try to say one thoughtful or complimentary thing to your partner.
When a couple always spends time with each other, they often forget about courtesy. “Take the trash out. Do the laundry.” Isn’t there something missing in those phrases? Perhaps putting “Please” before each sentence would make it sound so much better. Never take each other for granted.
Point 4: Never be angry at the same time.
When you’re angry, you hear nothing else and you don’t care about anything else. If you find that both you and your partner are angry, try to have some space. Calm down. Then talk. Be sensitive to each other’s ups and downs. Talk through the problem and hear each other out. Abandon the whole world rather than each other. And never go to sleep without settling the argument. Most importantly, never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
Point 5: Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Do not rub past issues in when ever something goes wrong, and they will. This is part of living and learning, don’t dwell over the past, the past is in the past and cannot be changed, such that you become blind. Learn from this and look towards the future with the wonderful things ahead of your relationship.
Constantly showing that you both love and care for each other will help keep your relationship fresh. Even something as simple as complementing on your spouse’s looks or buying little unexpected gifts can help. Look for the things that would make your partner feel appreciated.
How do you live by these guidelines? Lower your pride. But don’t get me wrong. Pride is a good thing. It keeps your head high in public. It’s not a bad thing to have pride in someone or something. But in private, when you’re with your partner, keep the pride level down; because it becomes a wall your partner would have to overcome.
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